This was a very surprising and interesting documentary. But first off, let me get this out of the
way. The technical aspect of the
filmmaking, the choices and resources of the filmmaker, weren’t that
great. A lot of that has to do with
limitations, a hurdle that we all have to deal with. Obviously he didn’t have a lot of money to
work with. So it wasn’t the prettiest of
documentaries. Okay, fine, who cares,
moving on. But there were a few obvious
reenactments, specifically when he was checking the mail, which took me out of
the movie. Just shoot what’s happening
when it’s happening and let us deal with the rest. Both the sound and editing could also use
some work.
So overall it’s the work of a filmmaker still building his
skills while dealing with limitations.
With that said he showed great insight when it came to picking his
subject. Hogancamp easily carries us
through the movie despite the flaws in both the filmmaking and in himself.
What I see when I look at Hogancamp is a man reduced. I don’t necessarily mean that in the
diminishing kind of way, though that’s part of it. I mean it in the sense of how you would
reduce soup. Leave it on the stove; let
it boil down, until you’re left with core of what you were cooking with. Any access baggage he picked up in his life
was suddenly gone. Every experience,
every emotion, was brand new to him. He
ended up falling in love his neighbor, but by his own admission he had no idea
what that feeling was or meant. He had
to learn to process it like a child would have to. And he had to learn the appropriate
boundaries for it like a child would have to.
Only difference is, when it’s a child it’s cute. When it’s a middle-aged man it’s scary. And it’s not that he would be dangerous in
any sort of way, but he had the potential to be. That’s why it was scary.
Speaking of scary, let’s address the sexual fantasies that
are part of his little town. Here’s the
thing, he is, again, experiencing life like a child. Not with the mentality of a child, as he’s got
the intelligence of a grown man, but in the sense of feeling everything as
though it’s brand new. Being a grown
man, with a grown man’s intelligence, he’s going to have desires. As I said before, he’s not carrying the
baggage of his past life anymore. So
experience isn’t going to color his desires or how he presents them in any
way. That makes it a very base and crude
fantasy. What’s good? One woman.
What’s better? More than one woman. What’s best?
An entire town of women. And,
yeah, for sure some control issues mixed in there, but if you think you’re
above all that (speaking to both male and female here) think again. Sexuality is close to the surface no matter
how pure you try to present yourself.
You too can be “reduced” in this sense and I think you’d be amazed how
easily you could reach the same base place as Hogancamp has – no brain damage
required! Hogancamp doesn’t have the
same restraint or shame that everyone has.
And you know what, screw it, let your freak flag fly Hogancamp! To hell with shame, it’s not like everyone
else in the world isn’t a secret and/or repressed pervert. The thing about fantasies is there’re not
real. Swimming in vault of gold coins
like Scrooge McDuck is a fantasy I know many people have and that will never happen
- both for financial and general physics reasons. Just like most of Hogancamp’s fantasy will
never happen, but if that’s his fantasy then he should go ahead and own it the
way he seems to own everything about himself.
That’s another thing I’ve got to address. Hogancamp owns just about every part of who
he is now. And why wouldn’t he, he had
to rebuild everything about himself.
Think about it, it’s almost like he’s his own art project. And those parts that didn’t disappear when he
got his head smashed, why would he try to hide those parts? Those were the only crayons in the box left
to color with. He said it himself, “I
have to be true to myself.” I respect
his ability to do that. I mean, can you
think of anyone who could or would present themselves to the world the way he
does? Is there one person in your life
that says here’s my past, here’s my present, here’s my sexuality, here are my
vices, and here is my damage? The only
thing he seems hesitant to reveal is that he cross-dresses. With good reason too, since last time he did
that he was almost beaten to death.
Though I do find it interesting that after he lost everything, after he
was reduced down to the basics of a human mind, he still held onto the
cross-dressing. He lost everything else,
including his drinking, but not that. I
personally will never understand why people get so freaked out by someone who
likes to wear women’s clothing. Why do
you care? It’s just cloth. Does the way it’s cut and formed really
matter that much? I felt pretty good for
the guy when he finally built up the nerve to rock the high heels at the art
gallery. I don’t know why he found those
shoes so comfortable, I can’t imagine they actually are, but if I did there wouldn’t
be anything to stop me from wearing them.
I’d be catwalking my way to Becker Hall each day letting everybody else
just deal with it.
Well, enough about the guy.
Let’s talk about his therapy. His
pictures were amazing. He managed to
pose these scenes that seemed so naturalistic.
If you were to blur some of them it’d be very hard to tell they were
dolls. The art gallery guy really nailed
it; there was no irony in his work. The
guy loves his dolls like people, quite literally. I suppose he does not really love the dolls
in as much as he loves the characters he’s created in his head. I can only imagine that if I could do that,
if I could allow myself to go there, I could write a pretty powerful
movie. It does seem very Lars and the
Real Girl. (Man, nobody tell this guy
about those dolls. 0.o) But he’s getting
something out of this. Whatever it is
that his brain needs to heal, he’s found it.
I think the documentary ended on the perfect note. It was oddly brilliant that his character in
the doll world was starting the same therapy he did. I’d like to imagine that there’s now a story
within the story. I hope he’s keeping
track of the little dolls lives the way he did the bigger dolls.
