America: Imagine the World Without Her

 Where do I start with this film.  Well, I suppose the Rotten Tomatoes score pretty well sums up what I think.

It's fitting though.  First we watched a film about the making of a crappy movie.  Then we watched a film about a guy who had to review many crappy movies.  Now...we watch a crappy movie.  He should really change the title of this thing to "Straw Man: Can't Imagine an Argument Without One."

So the first obvious problem with this film is the fact that he tried to cram four or five arguments about America into one film.  In doing so he had no time to thoroughly explore any one topic.  Not that I really get the feeling that he wanted to.  Case in point, the cons of capitalism only get a quick pass over.  He says that the argument is that capitalism is detrimental to the consumer.  That's not the argument.  It's the worker that gets stepped on.  And you know what, it's true.  When left on it's own capitalism time and again has used and abused common workers.  There is no better feeding system for socialism and communism than capitalism unchecked.  Even now there are workers iphone factories throwing themselves off roofs because a capitalistic loophole allows Apple to treat these people like slaves.  But we're not about to stop it because we're the consumer and we need our smartphones.  Nothing like this is mentioned in the film.

Next problem I had with it was the stylistic choice of D'Souza putting himself in the film.  Just a personal thing I guess.  I hate it when the filmmaker puts himself in the film.  I do not need to see another 360 degree shot of the director putting on a faux stoic face as he stands outside a national monument.  Your ego is showing!

And another minor nitpick, someone needs to take his copy of After Effects away.  Those recreations wouldn't have been half bad if not for the fact that big pixel clouds were going off every five seconds.

The last (last as in last I want to talk about this turd) problem, and biggest, was the fact that D'Souza didn't seem to have much of an argument beyond, "America is great, agree with me!"  I mean how does he answer slavery?  "Black people had slaves too."  WHAT?!  His answer to the trail of tears?  "Well, we offered them a plot of land and they didn't take it."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?  Vietnam?  "They were a bunch of torturing a-holes anyway."  This isn't a matter of "making up for it."  In fact, we shouldn't be taking the edge off these things.  America did some messed up stuff.  We need to remember that with clarity so we don't do it again.

Know what, I doubt this guy gives one single crap about any of this.  This was a right wing exploitation film designed to mentally masturbate the patriotic and separate them from their money.  Patriots deserve better than this.  Screw it, done wasting my time on this.  Out of five stars I give it a bucket of greasy turds.

      

Life Itself

Well, we continue the theme of frightening me with Life Itself.

I appreciated the way the film presents Ebert in a true manner.  They don't try and cover up who he was in the past or who he was at the end.  At times in his life he was kind of a dick.  He seemed to have leveled out over the years, not in small part due to settling down with his wife, but there are still times where you get to see him become frustrated and upset.  He wasn't a saint.  He was a person just like all of us.

  

The part that I found frightening this time wasn't the physical trauma that Ebert had to endure.  Though that's not without concern.  I mean, no one wants to endure cancer, especially cancer that results in having half your face cut off.  The frightening part to me was actually something quite sweet.  Ebert did not have to face his illness alone.  He had his wife Chaz there with him.  She truly loved that man.  That's the only way she could have endured it all right there with him.  I cannot imagine Ebert living as long as he did without her.  I know the saying goes that if you can't be happy on your own then you won't be happy with someone.  And to a point, yes that's true.  But I have found that being alone is like the spear without the shield.  Chance throws us bad cards at its pleasing.  Sometimes it feels like a race against the clock, all the while hoping that the right connection is made before those cards drop thus forcing you to face the worst alone.  And I, when it comes to people, unfortunately seem to have an uncanny ability to boil the waters.  After any considerable amount of time all that's left is a dry crackled lake bed.  The mist that was once the water that filled that space hanging in the air like a memory of something I'd rather see dissipated.  I'm sure many feel the same way.  Most likely even Ebert.  I mean, look how long it took him to find his shield. 

In any regard, I'm glad Ebert did not die alone, that he had such a strong bond with someone.

Best Worst Movie

What can I say about this film?  No really, what?  Most of what I can come up with is a lot of stuttering half-sentences.  I guess what I can say is, "That was weird."

I had seen this one before.  While I do enjoy bad movies I don't normally find myself seeking them out.  I like to think I have better things to do with my time.  But somehow these movies find me.  So months after having seen Best Worst Movie I found a VHS copy of Troll 2 in a Goodwill.  It still had the video store stickers on it even.  I had to have it!  It's now my own little art piece, a tribute to the time of mom and pop video stores that has long since passed.  And of course I watched it.  Yeah, Troll 2 is bad.  It's bad on a level that few have reached.  I've found the best bad movies are ones where the filmmakers give it all they've got, but still manage to find a way to crash and burn.  So you can see why Troll 2 is a rare film.  Just about anyone, if they were giving it their all, could manage to make at least a mediocre film.

Now, while I felt the documentary about Troll 2 was well done, I still had problems watching it.  Why?  Well, in honesty out of fear.  I know a number of filmmakers inside and out of HU.  More than a few of them suffer from a condition I call, "quality blindness."  It's the same as all those people who go on American Idol and get laughed at for their delusional belief that they can sing.  These people I know make films and then sit back and rejoice at their own awesomeness.  The rest of us in the real world tilt our heads and try to say something, ANYTHING, nice.  "Yeah, that's some nice general color theory you got going there."  And when someone does call them out for the ten pounds of manure they've packed into a five pound bag they get defensive.  It's everyone else that doesn't know what they're talking about!  People like this intrigue and humor me, but they also frighten me.  Because who is to say that I'm not the one with quality blindness?  I suppose the fact that I do worry about this would say I'm likely not suffering from it.  But still...one wonders.

The other contributing factor to the fear I feel watching this is how a number of the people involved in the making of Troll 2 have, essentially, wasted their lives.  A handful didn't.  They went on to real jobs and in the case of George Hardy he became what you could call a pillar of his community.  But at least one outright admitted that he has squandered his life.  The others who didn't you can safely assume did.  Sure, in more than one case it was due to mental illness, but a wasted life is a wasted life.  I find the idea of dying alone, regretful, and clinging to mental health frightening.

I was very happy to see George Hardy come to the realization that he had better things to do than than live off his semi-fame for making a horrible movie.  In fact, I felt like that was really the resolution of the film and that it continued on for just a little too long afterwards.  We got it, fame and fortune don't make for a good life.  Being able to wake up, go to work, and smile about it the way George does is what makes for a good life.